Walking alongside: Abbey’s story of lived experience

For Abbey Appleby, lived and living experience (LLE) isn’t something separate from her work – it is the very essence of her work.  

“If you have lived experience, you automatically use it,” she explains. “Even before I was a trained peer, I was doing peer work. It’s just part of who I am.” 

Abbey left school at 15 and has navigated her own mental health challenges. Those experiences deeply inform her practice and help her to embody our values of connection and aroha here at Real. Now a trained peer and youth worker in Rotorua, she brings her whole self into every space she steps into. 

“We’re all whole people. We carry our experiences with us all the time. When I sit with a young person, I’m bringing my whole self, including my lived experience.” 

At Real, embodying hope and generosity are fundamental to our approach. For Abbey, LLE gives her the ability to offer this in a way that is genuine and tika.  

“When you’ve been in the pits and come out the other side, you have an ability to see that for other people. I truly believe the taiohi I work with can live happy, healthy lives because I know change is possible.” 

Abbey inspires this hope through sharing her story. A taiohi once asked her, “Does it get easier?”, and she was able to offer an authentic answer. 

“I was able to genuinely say, ‘Yes. It actually does.’ That was one of the most powerful moments I’ve had.” 

That authenticity matters, particularly in her work with the rainbow community. Small moments can shift everything, and Abbey wants to create spaces “where taiohi just get to exist”.  

“I don’t change people’s lives. They change their own lives. I just get to walk alongside them.” 

At Real, lived experience is truly valued. In Abbey’s hands, it leads to meaningful connection with our taiohi.

 

 

 

 

— This story was first featured in Harikoa magazine (issue 1, 2026).